please don't be mad at me. I know I've promised you this for a very long time.
Here's the moment of truth. I really2 like ur writing. U've made me laugh, u've made me cry and u've even made me mad with this piece. I like ur style of writing. It reflects ur ability to be flexible. And for the past months that I've known you, I didn't realize how you could be such a romantic. U've mustered all your effort to have all emotions possible in the main character and I salute you for that.
I also admire all the facts that u've put in. It shows that u've read alot and u made ur homework. Well, except the Kill Bill Trilogy thingy, Hehe.
But, this is the criticism part. I hope u're not hurt when I say this. This piece for me, is way too smart for Malaysian readers. With the very limited Malay who reads our local novels, I'm afraid they won't understand some of the things u're talking about. Like alice in the wonderland; why would u insert it in ur writing? what n where is the literature? to me, it doesn't reflect the main issue you're talking about in the novel. the novel of course is about love, but alice? where's the relevance? God knows how many times people have asked me what a certain book is talking about. Even when they are written in Malay. Since u've put in too many English phrases, I doubt they'll get what u're trying to say. (No offence to anyone, it's just pure criticism)
I've read so many short stories and I've read classical and contemporary lit. Most of the times, they have a reason of motive to why they highlight certain things. And that's the part that I don't get. What's the point? If you analyzed other literary works that has to do with love then it's all perfect. I would love it if everything that u address in ur story has a link to the main issue; love. Like the fact that you had Yyvonne and Alan in your story. It served a purpose about love, right? Something similar to that.
Other than that, darling, I really2 love your story. Hope it's gonna be a huge success. I am proud to be a friend of yours and I will remain to be your loya fan (of writing, of course). Hehe..
Thanks very much, pet!