Tips Menggoda Halim

Lanjutan daripada status di Facebook ku - Halim Pingu Toha sedang mencari cinta. Jadi sila lah menggoda beliau. 10 hours ago, maka ku lampirkan tips ntuk menggoda ku demi manfaat bersama. Sila lah mempraktikkan tips2 ini supaya ku taw anda sedang menggoda ku dan ku, in turn, akan menggoda anda juga, dan kemudian, kita sama2 jatuh cinta. Boleh?

Here are the tips:

1. jika anda bercakap English dengan ku, sila menggunakan accent British.

2. jika anda bernyanyi, sila pastikan lagu tersebut boleh di-sing-along oleh ku juga. Contoh: Katy Perry's Teenage Dream. Pastikan ianya a bit jazzy.

3. jika anda makan fries, offerkan fries tersebut kepada ku. KESEMUANYA! Jika anda tak berniat menggoda ku pun, ku akan tetap merampas fries tersebut dari anda. But I'll only take 3/4 of it.

4. jika anda bercerita, pastikan cerita tersebut mempunyai unsur2 yang melibatkan imaginasi melalui lakonan semula dan berupaya membuat ku ketawa sampai sehingga sesak nafas. Pastikan anda menghanjing diri anda seniri supaya ku akan ingat imaginasi tersebut sampai bila2.

5. rajin2 lah post 'awak!' di wall Facebook ku.

6. jika anda SMS/menge-call ku, sila lah perkenalkan diri terlebih dahulu. Nyatakan juga tujuan utama anda, iaitu ntuk menggoda ku. Ku boleh di-SMS/di-call di talian 01X-XXXXXXX.

7. jika anda berjalan2 di depan ku, sila berpaling pandang ku lebih dari 2 kali atau merenung ku lebih dari 3 saat supaya ku perasan akan cobaan anda menggoda ku. Nescaya ku akan merenung anda dengan muka siyes demi menjaga macho ku.

8. jika anda mengajak ku keluar ke tempat asing, pastikan anda memberi notis 8 jam sa-bulumnya supaya ku dapat memikirkan pakaian apakah yang harus ku gayakan, dan supaya ku sempat google directions ke tempat tersebut.

9. sila jangan tanya 'bila novel baharu nak keluar?' Sebaliknya tanya lah, 'bila kita nak keluar lagi?'

10. senang cakap, tanya ku 'saya suka awak, awak suka saya, boleh?' atau 'JOM NIKAH 11.11.2011 atau 21.12.2012!' Dengan segera ku akan memberi jawapannya. Dan kita tak perlu buang masa with this game of love.

Renung2kan dan selamat menggoda ku!


Mimpi



Suboh tadi hujan turun dengan lebatnya. Dan ku bermimpi. Hujan masih lebat. Dalam hati ku kata, 'Musti banjir.' Ku selak langsir kamar dan melihat ke luar. Subhanallah! Ku lihat bulan mengambang penoh. Bulan terlalu dekat dengan bumi! Separoh langit penoh dengan bulan sampai mencecah ke horizon, malah cecah ke bumbung langit. Ku lihat air naik tinggi. Air pasang maha besar. Tak terlihat darat. Seolah2 kamar ku di tengah2 lautan. Hakikatnya ku tahu rumah ku di tepi pantai. Lalu ku kata, 'Ini bah besar.'

Kemudian ku tak ingat apa2 lagi.

...
......
.........

Apakah agaknya maksud mimpi itu?

Soalan Itu....

Sebulum anda tanya soalan maut ini pada ku - BILA MAW KAHWIN?, izinkan ku tanya anda dulu;

DENGAN SIAPA? dan anda akan tanya TAKKAN TADAK CALON LAGI KOT? ku tanya SIAPA MAW KU? dan anda tanya TADAK AWEK KAH? ku tanya SIAPA KU? dan anda tanya KO RAMAI PEMINAT KAN? ku tanya BELIAU-BELIAU KENAL KU KAH? anda tanya RAMAI SANGAT CALON KOT? ku tanya LAYAK KAH?

dan soalan2 ini akan berturut2 menggasak hati ku;

Si X kacak, memang harus ada awek/dah tunang/dah kahwin/dah beranak-pinak. Tapi si Y tak kacak pun ada awek/dah tunang/dah kahwin/dah beranak-pinak.

KU KACAK KAH? KU TAK KACAK KAH?

Si B kaya, memang harus ada awek/dah tunang/dah kahwin/dah beranak-pinak. Tapi si C tak kaya pun ada awek/dah tunang/dah kahwin/dah beranak-pinak.

KU MAMPU KAH? KU TAK MAMPU KAH?

Si M player, memang harus ada awek/dah tunang/dah kahwin/dah beranak-pinak. Tapi si N tak player pun ada awek/dah tunang/dah kahwin/dah beranak-pinak.

MAIN2 KAH KU? TAK SETIA KAH KU?

Si H baik, memang harus ada awek/dah tunang/dah kahwin/dah beranak-pinak. Tapi si I tak baik pun ada awek/dah tunang/dah kahwin/dah beranak-pinak.

BAIK SANGAT KAH KU? JAHAT SANGAT KAH KU?

Si T sangat romantik, memang harus ada awek/dah tunang/dah kahwin/dah beranak-pinak. Tapi si U tak romantik pun ada awek/dah tunang/dah kahwin/dah beranak-pinak.

CHEESY SANGAT KAH KU? TADAK PERASAAN LANGSUNG KAH KU?

Jadi fahami lah. Amat payah ntuk ku menjawab soalan anda - BILA MAW KAHWIN? walaupun ku dengan cepat2 menjawab 21.12.2012.

dan betapa sakitnya hati ku ntuk menjawab pertanyaan anda dengan senyuman dan HUAHUAHUA.

:'(



BENGKEL PENULISAN: Asas Pembinaan Kreatif 1 (Novel Umum)

Tarikh: 12 Disember 2010
Hari: Ahad

Masa: 9 pagi-5 petang

Tempat: Bandar Baru Bangi

Pengendali Bengkel: Noor Suraya

Jumlah peserta: 20 orang

Bayaran kursus: PERCUMA (dan makanan disediakan)


Penyertaan

Syarat umum

a) Berumur 18 tahun ke atas
b) Berminat dalam penulisan novel dan bersedia untuk menerima pandangan serta kritikan untuk penambahbaikan manuskrip
c) Berminat untuk menulis dan menjadi warga Jemari Seni Publishing
d) Belum pernah ada novel yang diterbitkan atau akan diterbitkan di mana-mana syarikat penerbitan
e) Tidak menunggu mana-mana keputusan penerbitan, daripada mana-mana syarikat penerbitan


Syarat khusus

Memandangkan tempat terhad, sekiranya anda telah memenuhi kriteria a-e, anda perlu menghantar biodata diri (atau resume), sinopsis cerita, dan tiga bab awal untuk dinilai terlebih dahulu ke jemariseni.karya@gmail.com (up: Puan Mariah Mustapha). Pemilihan peserta berdasarkan Jemari Seni Publishing tertarik dengan kebolehan kreatif anda.

Peserta akan mendapat bimbingan bengkel daripada:

Saudara Imaen (Penulis/Editor Kanan)
Saudari Rnysa (Penulis)

Saudara Pingu Toha (Penulis)

Saudari Iman Xara (Penulis)

Puan Mariah Mustapha (Pengurus Penerbitan)



~ Tautan Jemari Sebarkan Seni ~

How To Get Trapped In Someone Else's Relationship


Tajuk di atas, kalau di US atau UK sudah boleh diangkat sebagai judul sebuah novel chic-lit. Tapi ku bukan lah sa-orang penulis chic-lit! HUAHUAHUA

Tapi ku percaya, ramai di antara kita yang menghadapi situasi tersebut, iaitu menjadi mangsa dalam perhubungan orang lain yang bersegi-segi 2-3-6-7-10. Selalunya kita jadi orang yang menjadi tempat orang lain merujuk hal-hal cinta. Dan tanpa mereka sedari, atau memang-dah-tahu-tapi-peduli-apa-ku, atau sekedar i-just-need-you-at-this-mo, kita yang kununnya pakar cinta ini ialah yang selalunya malang dalam percintaan, atau masih single tanpa sebab munasabah, atau sangat clueless fasal cinta, atau yang dianggap tak punya perasaan, atau dalam erti kata lain, ku-ada-masalah-tapi-anda-saorang-yang-free-dan-orang-lain-tak-mahu-dengar-so-tolong-selesaikan-masalah-ku-so-you'll-also-be-miserable.

Ku juga selalu menjadi mangsa keadaan, diletakkan di tengah-tengah, di antara 2-3-5 orang yang mahu-minta-nasihat-tapi-tak-mahu-nasihat-anda-tak-faham-perasaan-ku.

Ku rasa macam main bola chak di mana kita dikelilingi oleh mereka yang bermain sesama sendiri dan bila tak puas hati terus baling bola tu ke ku. APAKAH?

Jadi ku ingin membedah persoalan 'How To Get Trapped In Someone Else's Relationship' sebagai panduan ntuk kita semua mengelak dari kena baling dengan bola chak walaupun yang bermain bola itu orang lain and we're not even included in the fun. Atau dalam erti kata lain mengelak kemungkinan menjadi a shoulder-to-cry-on-sampai-basah-lepas-tu-anda-lap-seniri.

So, how to get trapped in someone else's relationship? These are the criteria involved;

1. anda musti single, atau status diragui
2. average-looking
3. sa-orang penulis
4. kalau laki2, musti lebih ramai kawan ponpuan dan sebaliknya
5. mempunyai credit yang banyak
6. sentiasa boleh dianggap free tanpa mengambilkira apa jua situasi
7. berkebolehan mendengar dan pura-pura mendengar dengan sangat meyakinkan
8. berkebolehan bermonolog secara dalaman
9. boleh selalu online
10. tidak kenal salah-sa-orang daripada pencinta yang terlibat
11. kenal ke2-2 pencinta yang terlibat
12. tidak kenal ke2-2 pencinta yang terlibat (ini kes cari fasal seniri)
13. suka Like status orang lain di Facebook
14. berupaya memberi kata2 nasihat walaupun anda sebenarnya tak faham apa yang anda ucapkan

dan

15. berkebolehan bergegas ke satu sudut yang sepi selepas berjaya menyelesaikan permasalahan cinta orang lain

Jadi, ntuk mengelak getting trapped in someone else's relationship, kita sepatutnya;

1. jangan jadi single
2. musti kacak atau jelita atau sekurang2nya cute
3. jangan jadi penulis, especially penulis novel cinta. Jadi lah pe-something-else
4. bersosial secara seimbang
5. menghabiskan credit anda secepat mungkin selepas di-reload
6. mewajibkan appointment kepada sesiapa yang ingin anda menengar mereka bercakap
7. pandai kata, like, whatever!
8. meroyan secara siaran langsung, setiap kali ada orang datang untuk berkongsi masalah cinta mereka
9. status: invisible
10. jangan add as friend
11. jangan add as friend
12. jangan accept friend suggestion
13. boleh suka Like status orang lain di Facebook tapi jangan comment
14. hanya jawab, er. hurm. lalalalala~

dan

15. berkebolehan bergegas ke satu sudut yang sepi selepas berjaya menyelesaikan permasalahan cinta orang lain (secara terpaksa)

Semoga analisa ini memberikan manfaat ntuk kita. Kepada teman2 ku yang sering menjadikan ku tempat rujukan cinta mereka, sila jangan baling ku dengan bola chak. Ku ekhlas menengar dan membantu kalian. Ku sememangnya mendoakan kebahgiaan kalian. Tapi...

HUAHUAHUA

(terus ke satu sudut yang sepi)

Meroyan

Entri ini entri meroyan saperti yang dianjurkan Lutfi Amri melalui Ranters United. Disebabkan ku bukan ahli, ku terpaksa meroyan di blog seniri.

Ku seronok tengok album2 especially yang melibatkan aktiviti beramai2 - makan2, mandi sungai, shows, mejlis penutop, lepak2 etc2. Ku suka, especially di Facebook kerna dapat comment and reply whotever nonsense yang diutarakan pihak terlibat. Kalau ikut Lutfi Amri, konsep mengeji. HUAHUAHUA

Ekceli, ku suka tengok orang having fun. Even if I'm not involved directly, it gives me great pleasure to see others happy... the laughter, inside jokes, awkward silences, the positive environment, etc.

But somehow, I'm also jealous. Why? Somehow, I'm always being left out of the fun! Tau tak macam mana rasanya tu?

Rasa macam tak di-tagged dalam gambau tu, gitew! Which means, ku tak boleh nak comment or reply apa2!

It's like, tangkap gambau ramai2 tapi you're actually out of the focus, out of the picture! Like, you were never there in the first place.

Like, being out of place. And you don't belong.

Kenapa ya... every time others can have so much fun, I am not included? KENAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA???

HUAHUAHUA

Adakah orang meroyan saperti ini?

Takkan...

Berikut dilampirkan senarai perkara-perkara yang takkan ku lakukan. Even if you pay me a million ringgit, I won't do these things;

On second thought, these are the things that I won't do simply because I can't, or they really won't happen to me.

1. makan budu, cencalok, sambal belacan or any of the sort
2. makan petai, jering, kerdas or any of the sort
3. pigi Kutub Selatan. Sejuk!
4. panjat Everest. Sejuk!
5. cuci longkang. EW!
6. kahwin paksa. Hidup ku bukan cerita novel, occay
7. resume any former relationship with my exs
8. be totally macho and cool
9. do gymnastics
10. going shirtless in public
11. be 'the most eligible bachelor'
12. being asked for a date by a total stranger
13. be truthful about my feelings
14. play the piano
15. jumpa L lagi. :'(

Bulum

Dan sekarang, ku senaraikan perkara-perkara yang bulum ku lakukan. Ianya itu;

1. Punya teman wanita istimewa. HUAHUAHUA
2. Pigi Kelantan
3. Pigi Singapore
4. Pigi Perlis
5. Naik rollercoaster
6. Pigi Gunung Ledang
7. Kahwin. ERKS!
8. Punya rumah sendiri
9. Berlakon film
10. Makan ayam belanda
11. Menjadi penulis best-seller
12. Menyanyi dan mempunyai videoclip seniri
13. Pandai berenang
14. Pigi BUKS, Cafe Marooned
15. Jumpa L. :'(

Pernah...

Entri ini menyenaraikan perkara-perkara yang pernah ku (ter)lakukan, iaitu:

1. Lemas
2. Nampak hantu
3. Nampak UFO
4. Langgar kereta orang (ala, bergesel aja)
5. Nampak Lisa Surihani
6. Jatuh longkang
7. Jatuh tangga (2o anak tangga, occay!)
8. Pengsan
9. Berlakon
10. Menari kuda kepang
11. Berak dalam seluar. HUAHUAHUA
12. Masuk TV
13. Baca buku sampai menangis
14. Jadi penyanyi latar
15. Main mercun depan opis Pak Guard USM
16. Melukis komik
17. Menulis novel. GITEW!
18. Mimpikan Lana Lang
19. Hampir-hampir jatuh katil 2 tingkat
20. Jual buku
21. Pengsan
22. Bercinta. HUAHUAHUA
23. Masuk suratkhabar
24. Menulis lirik
25. Hampir-hampir kena pukau
26. Bekerja 24 jam
27. Nampak L
28. Rumah kena pecah
29. Tengok wayang sorang2
30. Putus cinta. OUCH~

Lama...

Owh. Sudah lama ku tidak menulis di sini. Kerja rasmi menghambat ku. Malah ku sedang buntulis sebenarnya. Baru semalam ku dapat mula menulis secara manja-manja. HUAHUAHUA

Jadi ku fikir, elok ku senaraikan segala macam benda yang dah lama tak ku buat, sebagai tema entri kali ini.

Ku dah lama tak:

1. Makan pizza
2. Tengok wayang
3. Pigi karaoke
4. Kemas rumah
5. Beli kasut
6. Mandi hujan
7. Menulis di blog ini. HUAHUAHUA
8. Menyambung kisah Kiki, Ada, Evan dan si Beruang
9. Bergossip
10. Makan donut
11. Minum teh o ais laici
12. Pigi pantai
13. Mandi sungai
14. Panjat bukit
15. Pigi The Curve
16. Pigi OU
17. Makan lempeng
18. Makan eskrim
19. Berkuda kepang
20. Flirt
21. Pigi book fair
22. Beli cincin stainless steel
23. Pigi gym
25. Berlakon
26. Main sorok-sorok
27. Main bola chak
28. Nampak hantu
29. Menangis
30. Ketawa besar
31. Pigi Terengganu
32. Pigi Johor
33. Jungle trekking
34. Main teka-teki
35. Main Cluedo
36. Pigi IKEA
37. Makan jemput kucai
38. Nampak UFO
39. Sain otograp sebagai Pingu Toha
40. Ada buku baharu!

HUAHUAHUA

Googled: How To Be An Evil Emperor

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present...

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became
An Evil Overlord

  1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
  2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
  3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
  4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
  5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
  6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
  7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
  8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
  9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
  10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
  11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
  12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
  13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
  14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
  15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
  16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
  17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
  18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
  19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
  20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
  21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
  22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
  23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
  24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
  25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
  26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
  27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
  28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
  29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
  30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
  31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
  32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
  33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
  34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
  35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
  36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
  37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
  38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
  39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
  40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
  41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
  42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
  43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
  44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
  45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
  46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
  47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
  48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
  49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
  50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
  51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
  52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
  53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
  54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
  55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
  56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
  57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
  58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
  59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
  60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
  61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
  62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
  63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
  64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
  65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
  66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
  67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
  68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
  69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
  70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
  71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
  72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
  73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
  74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
  75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
  76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
  77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
  78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
  79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
  80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
  81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
  82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
  83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
  84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
  85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
  86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
  87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
  88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
  89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
  90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
  91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
  92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
  93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
  94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
  95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
  96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
  97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
  98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
  99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
  100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.


This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.
AN IMPORTANT NOTE REGARDING THE COPYRIGHT:
This Evil Overlord List grew out of the exchanges on what is now the Star Trek mailing list "shields-up@spies.com", beginning in 1994 (when it was still "startrek@cs.arizona.edu"). We were kicking around cliches that appeared on "Deep Space 9" at the time, and I started to compile a list of classic blunders they were making. The list came to about 20 or so items. In 1995, I decided to try to make it into a Top 100 List. I attached a copyright notice, some friends of mine posted it to a few newsgroups, and the contributions quickly poured in. In 1996 I revised the list entries to their current form, the Web page went up, more contributions were solicited, the list expanded beyond 100 and I had to open up a dungeon. I continued to contribute items; my total is around 40 or so. So while I am the originator, editor, and principal contributor, I certainly did not write the majority of the items on the list -- as may be seen by the sheer number of individuals who are listed as contributors. Around 1997, as the final contributions were coming in, a couple contributors mentioned that this was similar to a list of things not to do if you capture James Bond that had appeared on a sci-fi newsgroup. I'd never heard of or seen this list, so I assumed it was parallel development or perhaps something I had inspired.
On November 12, 2002, I exchanged some emails with Jack Butler who has a list on his website. Sayeth Mr. Butler: "This list has its origins on the now-nonexistent FidoNet Science Fiction and Fandom (SFFAN) email echo, in a discussion regarding a sketch seen on an episode of Saturday Night Live sometime in 1990. In the sketch, several Bond villains were appearing on a talkshow touting their new book, "What Not To Do If You Capture James Bond". The discussion on SFFAN was specifically regarding what advice might be found in that book. The instigator of the discussion was Alesia Chamness; other contributors included Jason Welles, Brian R. Williams, Merideth Knepper, and Alexi Vandenburg. I was also one of its contributors. When I originally posted this list to the Internet in 1994, I did so without any awareness of Mr. Anspach, the Star Trek mailing list on which his version of the list appeared, or (later) his website."
Apparently both lists were compiled during overlapping periods of time. Comparing the two, some items appear on one list but not the other. Other items appear identical to those on this list; since many are the result of my writing or editing, I believe they were taken from this list and posted to that list without permission. But other items on that list appear identical to contributions I received before I edited them. Those items may have been taken from that list and submitted here under false pretenses, or they may have innocently been submitted to both lists by their originators. It appears that as a result of this "cross-contamination", the two lists have arrived at a point where there are variations on each other and it is probably impossible to untangle them. (I would still like to talk with Alesia Chamness. If you know her, please ask her to email me.)
I believe Jack Butler when he says the list on his website is the current form of the James Bond Villain list, and I thank him for helping to clarify matters. Let me state that I had nothing to do with the FidoNet SFFAN list which is firmly in the public domain, and I lay no claim to it. The copyright statement attached to my list applies only to this list, in the form it appears.
-- Peter Anspach

Realiti Cerpen

In response to Lutfi Amri's Cerpen Realiti.

Pagi ini gelap. Mendung berarak sarat dengan hujan yang entah bila akan turun. Beberapa kali ku mengerling ke jam di tangan. Perjalanan tren 2 koc ke Dang Wangi itu masih berbaki enam stesen. Ku berdiri saja, di sisi pintu pertama sebelah kanan. Senang untuk keluar nanti. Bosan. Tak pula ku bawa buku untuk dibaca seperti selalunya. Otak ku juga masih dalam mod 'standby'. Lalu, ku pandang ke luar. Ya, pagi ini akan hujan juga. Begitu kata ku, sendiri.

This is when I started my ramblings in English.

I thought about the chapter I was writing last night. I'm not so sure on how to actually finish it. I began to wonder, whether I will be able to finish the book with such a pace. I foreseen so many changes to the storyline. I have even changed some of the principle characters; their names, backgrounds, relationships.

I have even changed my writing style.

And then, I thought about another story I wrote earlier... just the first two chapters, back in April. It's a story about a teddy bear. I already have the cover in mind. I'm planning to write the story in 30 chapters, each with 4-5 pages. I am going to write it, get it done within two weeks in view of getting it published for the next international children's book fair.

I will start on it, soon.

At times like this, I just feel like singing and dancing. Just let my vocal out. Just dance. Just do a musical. Then I remembered that I'm in a train full of people. But I will be singing and dancing all to myself. All by myself.

Que: Bridget Jones's Diary theme - All By Myself.

Ku kembali ke Malaysia.

Ku lihat ke langit sana. Kelihatan seolah-olah awan-awan gelap itu tak mahu pergi dari pagi itu. Ia berpaut pada puncak Menara KL. Ia membalut seluruh Menara Berkembar. Pagi itu memang suram. Suram yang sayu.

Sekali lagi, ku memikirkan tentang cerita yang sedang ku tulis. Rasanya, ku perlu minta tolong Anisa ntuk membuat ilustrasi dalam Saga Ophir. Ku ingin minta beliau lukiskan peta Agia.

Oh, maybe I should do some illustrations on the animals, plants and architectures of Agia, Ophir and Orkala. And the clothings. And the weapons! Oh!

Tiba-tiba, ku menyedari seolah-olah ku seorang geek. An awfully shy and socially awkward geek, that is. Well, I was wearing my favourite pink shirt, a nice pair of pants from Padini, with unpolished shoes, geeky hairstyle and geeky pair of glasses. And also a faux leather sling bag.

And I am a writer!

Gosh, why do I have to be so geeky? Why do I have to be the geeky writer?

I don't write geeky stuff. I wrote love poems and romance, though I'm not really romantic. Heck, I can't even write them properly. Heck, I can't do anything properly!

So, whot am I, really? I found myself asking that same question, over and over again.

This is when I relapsed into the 'di satu sudut sepi' mode. I shouldn't let myself be alone like this. It'll ruin me. Things shouldn't be like this. But...

Okay, dah sampai Dang Wangi. I need to put a smile on my face. I need to look like Halim. This is going to be a very long day.

Okay. :) HUAHUAHUA

21/12/2012

21/12/2012, Friday.

This will be my wedding date.

It will be a simple solemnization ceremony at the masjid. Or maybe at her house?

The reception will be held in a garden, by the lake, on Saturday. We'll dress in white. Or... how about pink?

No cake.

There 'll be lots of food. Nasi hujan panas. Sirap selasih. Ayam rempah. Daging hitam. Udang galah. Ayam panggang. Sirap bandung? Papadom. Ulam-ulam-i'mnotgoingtoeatthem. Chocolate covered cherries. Puding! Kek lapis sarawak. Karipap. Fries... opps! It's all about the food, kan?

The theme? Victorian? Bangsawan? Fantasy? Arabesque? Why not all?

I'll sing a song for her. An acoustic rendition of your favourite, maybe. (I still have time to practise, starting from now!)

Then, there's the photoshoot.

Guests? Guess lah! InsyaALLAH, semua dijemput.

Honeymoon? To a secluded island paradise. Or, your choice. Just you and me. We'll go there on Sunday and be back by the second Sunday after.

Then it's home. Our home.

Whot should I call you? Sayang? Honey? Wifey? Cinta? Or your pet name (whot ever it is....)?

Oppss!

1) I am writing from my desk at the opis.
2) I haven't packed for balik kampung tonight.
3) I bought a pair of slacks, a pair of skinny jeans, three pairs of socks, a set of cuff-links, a set of baju melayu cekak musang in maroon. I initially set out to the mall just for the socks.
4) I haven't changed the duit raya.
5) Suddenly, there's a pile of work on my desk.
6) One of the lecturers for my upcoming kursus cancelled her session. I haven't got her replacement yet.
7) Where's the quotation from the caterer?
8) One of the lecturers got the date wrong.
9) I haven't checked on the cancellation of the hotel's booking.
10)My desk is a mess.
11)They are listening to lagu-lagu raya, replaying the songs over and over again.
12)I thought I saw the car on the road the other day. But who was driving it, then?
13)I haven't done my laundry. Bawa balik kampung ajalah!
14)Why did she fax this twice?
15)Can someone on the other end answer the phone, please?
16)Problem loading page???
17)When will she return my call?
18)I really need to get organised. Seriously.
19)Now they're listening to some 80s.
20)Now they want to go back early.
21)I think I will just have murtabak daging for breaking fast. Then Burger King on the way balik kampung.
22)My Heart Will Go On???
23)Seriously, dia dah kahwin?
24)RM25? I specifically asked for RM20. And whot's ikan masak taucu?
25)Kampung awak ke kampung isteri? Do I look like someone who is already married???
26)I have found his Fail Meja, finally!
27)Doing this Senarai Tugas is a very daunting task by itself.
28)Oh, for God's sake!
29)APAKAH???
30)I'll find time to write the next chapter of Saga Ophir. I must!
31)I'm writing these offline.

Okay. The Internet is finally up and running. Now I can post these ramblings.

Sebulan...

Hari ini kiranya genap sebulan ku tak menulis apa-apa untuk Khutub Pingu. Faktor-faktor yang menyumbang kepada kegersangan khutub ini adalah seperti berikut:

a) kurang masa a.k.a tak pandai urus masa ntuk menulis
b) malas
c) sedang menulis Saga Ophir
d) Acer Aspire 4720 ku mengalami masalah teknikal yang tidak dapat dielakkan
e) terpaksa tidur awal ntuk bangun sahur
f) guna masa ntuk membaca - ku telah baca The Story of Edgar Sawtelle dan The Luminous Life of Lilly Aphrodite. Sedang baca The Cry of The Sloth dan Imam, sekarang.
g) sibuk sangat dengan status kontroversial di Facebook... er, oopsss!
h) kurangnya ilham
i) tiada perkembangan ntuk dikembangkan
j) malas
k) asyik dengar lagu (dan menyanyi)
l) dah penat mengarang surat rasmi atas urusan kerja
m) mengantuk sangat
n) tiada idea
o) sedang 'down' dan kecewa - uh, I don't want to think about this!
p) asyik balik kampung demi berbuka puasa dengan famili
q) dsb

Sesekali tu memang ku dapat idea ntuk menulis. A few lines of poetry, general musings, ucapan salam Ramadhan, ucapan Idulfitri, shopping list, a few chapters of either Saga Ophir or Ada & Evan or Kiki No. 5. But nothing solid ever came out of them. Well, except for Saga Ophir which is crawling in its 8th chapter.

Gosh, susah juga menulis ni kan?

Oh, (ikut style Am menulis pabila beliau teringatkan sesuatu ntuk ditulis) ku terpaksa memadamkan blog e-novel Kiki No. 5 dan Ada & Evan. Tak ada lagi e-novel tersebut ntuk tatapan umum. I think I work best when I don't need to reveal whotever I'm doing to the masses. Bukanlah cara menerbitkan e-novel tu tak bagus. Aku suka sebenarnya. Seronok sangat baca e-novel teman-teman penulis yang lain. This includes you, Am! (Please don't keke on me on this)

Hanya cara begitu tak sesuai dengan diri ku. It's like writing naked. Macam yang selalu Victor Hugo buat. Opps! I won't go into details about this.

Anyway, I will try my best to finish up Ada & Evan dan Kiki (in this particular order) for their published version. Kalau ada ruang, insyaALLAH Ada & Evan akan terbit sebagai 3-in-1 Jemari Seni dalam tahun ini juga. Kiki No. 5 will be a full-length novel, maybe some time next year. Provided that Am's Belum Ku Temu is not yet finished and being up-fronted for publication! Haru pulak nak melawan dengan fangirls tegar beliau! Beliau agak 'market' berbanding ku di kala ini. Huahuahua

Tapi Am, you will have to be published under Jemari Seni's banner. I'll make sure of that! (walaupun ku sangat jeles dengan beliau - jeles yang ikhlas, okay!)

In the mean time, I'm still working on Saga Ophir. Bayang-bayang 'cover' dah ada. It will be divided into two books - a duo-logy (if such term exists). InsyaALLAH akan siap juga nanti.

Oh, raya pun dah nak dekat. Alhamdulillah, rasanya puasa ku lebih baik dari tahun lepas. Hopefully. Tapi memang sentiasa ada (dan terlalu banyak) ruang ntuk ku baiki ibadah ku. Ku akan terus berusaha ntuk perbetulkan diri.

Tahun ini, raya agak spesial. Dapat lah ku beri duit raya ntuk mama dan papa dan adik-adik ku dan anak-anak buah yang ramai, insyaALLAH. It's not much, and I know I can afford to give more. Tapi inilah pertama kali ku dapat beri duit raya ntuk mereka, setelah beberapa tahun makan gaji.

Ku tak beli baju melayu tahun ni. Pakai yang 2-3 tahun lepas punya. Elok lagi pun. Baju jenjalan pun ada 2-3 helai. Itu pun dah pakai sejak awal puasa lagi. Tapi mungkin esok nak keluar shopping. Mungkin beli stokin aja. Huahuahua

Gosh, this is rather a long entry kan?

I'm boring you readers to death! Huahuahua Sorry!

Now, off to Ophir! Buhbye!

Of Kiki No. 5, Ada & Evan and Saga Ophir


Currently, I'm working on three books at one go. And a few others.... No. Currently just one - Saga Ophir. Kiki No. 5 and Ada & Evan are being K.I.V.ed. I am trying to figure out how to actually finish them first, before moving on to write Saga Ophir. In the mean time, I'll just carry on with Saga Ophir.

The problem, I figured, was that for Kiki No. 5, I am writing in respect on a female protagonist as the main character. This is something new to me. I mean, I did write Lana, Elina, Vee and Lisa in L.U.V.E and 1 4 3. But the focus was balanced (I reckoned) between the male protagonists as well - Uth, Keri and Bucks.

For Kiki No. 5, Kiki is the sole proprietor of the storyline. She's the one threading the lines of events within that world of hers. Right now, she isn't moving anywhere. She doesn't feel like it. Kiki sedang duduk diam. Di satu sudut yang sepi. And I still couldn't coax her into coming out and live her story. It's hers. But she has lost her voice. Watak-watak lain pun cuba pujuk. Tapi Kiki ni degil!

Atau, ku yang memang malas nak menulis?

Ku kah yang degil?

HUAHUAHUA

Okay, for Ada & Evan. It's a simple story written in a complicated way. Dalam kepala ku, cerita tentang Ada dengan Evan ni dah siap. Belum tulis aja. HUAHUAHUA Macam mana nak bikin cerita, based on e-mail correspondences alone? The actions are within the limited lines of choiced words and paragraphs of the replies. Dapat pulak watak-watak yang sibuk semedang (ikut terma Lutfi Amri). Memang tak jalan lah cerita ni!

Atau, ku sendiri yang sibuk dan menyibuk?

HUAHUAHUA

Sebenarnya ku dah memikirkan jalan penyelesaiannya. Ku ambil nasihat teman ku, Nzard. Beliau menasihati ku dalam bahasa Inggeris, yang kalau diterjemahkan begini - jangan fikir tentang masalahnya, fikir tentang penyelesaiannya.

Jadi penyelesaiannya - siapkan Ada & Evan dulu. It's already half way finished. It'll be a novelette. Adalah dalam 30 bab aja pun. For one of Jemari Seni's 3-IN-1, maybe. Within Ramadan akan siap. InsyaALLAH.

Kemudian siapkan Kiki No. 5. Dateline - by the end of this year. Or maybe early 2011. InsyaALLAH.

In between Kiki No. 5, I'll make do with Saga Ophir. Saga Ophir ni berat sikit. It took me at least 4 days to finish one chapter! But I'll managed. InsyaALLAH.

I've put up a wallpaper on my desktop background. It says: I AM WRITING A MASTERPIECE!

InsyaALLAH.

Surat Cinta Rasmi

I was cleaning my work PC's Recycle Bin when I came across this deleted letter. It was actually written by one of my staff, about a month before I came to the office, for a girl he fell for. They've already broke up. I also found out that another staff sent the same letter to her now-fiance.

I do not change anything here, only the names, to protect his/her privacy.




XXX


YYY

Saudari,

MEMOHON MENJAWAT JAWATAN SEBAGAI KEKASIH SETIA

Dengan penuh hormat dan takzimnya saya merujuk kepada perkara di atas.

2. Adalah dimaklumkan bahawa saya adalah salah seorang peminat saudari yang jelitawan lagi budiman, dan saya sudah sekian lama memendam perasaan kasih dan cinta terhadap saudari.

3. Saya telah mendapat nasihat rakan-rakan sepejabat dan doktor peribadi saya dan disahkan sedang menghidapi penyakit angau yang keterlaluan terhadap saudari.

4. Sehubungan itu saya memohon jasa baik saudari agar menimbang permohonan saya untuk menjawat jawatan sebagai kekasih sejati saudari. Saya berjanji akan menjadi seorang kekasih yang romantis, setia, tabah, tidak suka merajuk dan selalu membeli bunga untuk saudari. Selain itu juga, saya berjanji akan mencintai dan menjaga saudari hingga ke akhir hayat saya di dunia ini.

5. Perhatian saudari berhubung permohonan ini amatlah diharapkan dan didahului dengan ucapan terima kasih dan Aku cinta padamu.

“SAYA SAYANG AWAK”
“BUDI BAHASA BUDAYA KITA”

Sekian,

Yang Jatuh Cinta Padamu,
(XXX)




P/S: Sekarang ku sudah ada rahsia ntuk ugut beliau, kalau beliau pecahkan rahsia ku! HUAHUAHUA

Bila Malam Langit Tersenyum


Dan langit malam itu tersenyum kepada ku
akal ku menelah;
itu Zuhal dan Musytari
bak bintang di pandangan mata
di hujung sehiris bulan
tapi langit malam itu senyum
bukan hanya untuk ku
untuk semua yang mendongak
lalu hati mereka tunduk
dalam takjub berzikir "Subhanallah"



P/S: Fenomena langit tersenyum telah ku saksikan di langit 1 Disember 2008 yang lalu.

Separuh 2010


Bulan Jun sudah habis. Bermakna separuh tahun 2010 sudah berlalu. Bermakna sebahagian daripada To-Do List ku sepatutnya sudah terlaksana. Ku ambil peluang ini ntuk bikin analisis pencapaian individual ku sepanjang enam bulan 2010 ini.

Awal tahun dulu ku telah tetapkan 20 perkara yang harus ku siapkan atau capai demi hidup ku dalam 2010. These are my Top 2010, again, in no particular order.

1. Finish up Kiki No. 5 and get it published. Sedang diusahakan. My writing have been slow. Those writer's blocks are still clinging onto me. I just can't write properly. My plan is to still get Kiki No. 5 published by the end of this year. InsyaALLAH.

2. Save. At least RM50 a month. Memang ada simpan. Er. Ya. Ada. Er. Hurm. Lalalalalala~

3. Gain more weight. My target - 65kg. Ya, sudah capai 65kg! And more! Perut juga sudah naik. Perlu turunkan ke 64kg. Baru ideal. Harus bersenam juga. Baru cerdas. Akan berusaha ke arah itu.
4. Learn to swim. Belum ada peluang lagi.

5. Get another promotion OR get a BETTER job.
ALHAMDULILLAH. Got myself a BETTER job, with BETTER pay. Sudah masuk bulan ketiga. Masih dalam proses ntuk menyesuaikan diri. Masih perlu banyak belajar. Masih perlu berusaha ntuk baiki diri. InsyaALLAH.

6. Serialised L.U.V.E for TV!
Baru siap satu episod. Ini kerja yang tertangguh. Terpaksa. Atau sebenarnya malas.

7. Start work on Saga Ophir, my very first fantasy novel! Sudah siapkan dua bab awal. Itu sahaja.

8. Learn to play a musical instrument. Gitar kah? Piano kah? Harmonika? Rekoder? Kastanet? Rasa macam nak belajar gamelan. Tapi belum ada kesempatan.

9. Get my driver's license. Dalam proses. Sudah ada kereta. Tapi kasi papa ku pakai dulu di kampung. Myvi SE warna hitam. CCQ 1433. Pendahuluan dengan gaji pertama ku. ALHAMDULILLAH.

Tapi masih perlu dapatkan lesen.

10. Finish up Ada & Evan. Juga dalam proses bersama Kiki No. 5. InsyaALLAH akan menyusul Kiki dalam tahun ini.

11. Buy a camera. Should I?

12. Donate/sedekah more. Sudah ada kemampuan dan rezeki lebih ntuk sedekah. Cuba jadi lebih pemurah.

13. Get published in a magazine/newspaper. Er. Hurm. Lalalalalala~

14. Start my own business. Sedang merancang. Tapi belum ada kelapangan. Nak jual chicken wings. Boleh?

15. Make new friends. Sentiasa cuba menjadi lebih ramah-tamah.

16. Act in a movie/play. Angan-angan ajalah. Muka tak komersial seperti ku tak layak.

17. Buy an electric stove and cook! Nak beli dapur biasa aja. Tapi belum juga beli.

18. Buy/read more books! But first, please finish those piling in your living room, Pingu
. Oh, how I miss reading books! Masih banyak buku sedia ada yang belum sempat dibaca. Mesti baca buku. Paling-paling kurang pun sebuah ntuk sebulan. Mesti cuba.

19. Try to be less annoying/annoyable. Sedang berusaha ke arah itu. Tapi banyak kali juga gagal. huahuahua

20. Fall in love. ERKS? Huahuahuahuahua. And (try to) be in a (serious) relationship. :p Just one word - Anys.

Marah!

It's actually quite easy for me to be angry with people. But I don't really let it out to them. I don't really feel good being angry. I'm uncomfortable with that kind of feeling. It makes me 'jahat'. But it's also not good keeping all rage and frustration inside. It will consume you, eventually.

So when I'm angry at someone, I just play out a scene in my mind. A dramatic one, that is, with me venting all those emotions toward that particular person I'm angry with. Macam dalam filem Hollywood lah! In most of the scenes, someone will end up being all teary, delivering the final line - with the likes of 'I'm leaving' or 'It's all your fault' or 'Are you happy now?' - before slamming the door in the other's face.

Then I feel good. But it doesn't last.

The rage lingers.

And it will be quite some time before I can really get it out of my system.

But the rage lingers. Oftentimes I find myself rewinding back to the scenes. The emotion intensifies.

It's not good. I know.

Many a time, I try not to get angry, not letting the rage gets the best of me. Istighfar banyak-banyak. Cuba faham keadaan orang tu. Try to be positive.

Ku terpaksa pendam. I have to. And the rage lingers. It's not good. I know.

Pernah Cinta

Kalau ku ucapkan itu...
kan mengertikah engkau?
sanggupkah kau fahami?
bahawa cinta tak semestinya bersatu...
kan terlukakah engkau?
sanggupkah ku menghadapi?
kalau kau bukan untuk ku
kerna ku ucapkan itu...

Seharusnya ku bunuh rasa itu
sebelum pernah kita bertemu
cinta... walaupun pernah
bukan untukmu
bukan juga untuk ku
cinta... walaupun punah.

Hujan


Hari ini ku mau menulis tentang hujan. Ku suka hujan yang sangat lebat. Lebih bagus yang disertai ribut dan petir. Rasa sangat romantik. Jangan tanya mengapa ku rasa begitu. Ku tak dapat menghuraikan. Memang dari dulu lagi ku rasakan hujan lebat itu romantik.

Mungkinkah sebab rasa sejuk hujan itu sangat-sangat...

Entahlah.

Ku bayangkan ku duduk di atas sofa dekat tingkap kaca, membungkus diri dengan selimut tebal. Di tangan ku ada buku. Ku tak pasang lampu, suram. Hanya ada pancaran kilat. Ada secawan minuman panas. I can't really decide between tea or coffee. Ku baca buku di tangan. Perlahan-lahan, mata ku jadi kuyu. Mengantuk....

Tak boleh! Jangan tidur!

Ku hirup minuman panas. Tea, mildly sweet. Coffee, extra strong. I'll go for tea, in china. Sambil itu ku pandang ke luar, lihat titik-titik hujan di tingkap. Lihat juga yang jauh-jauh dalam kabur - pokok, gunung-ganang. Hujan terus melebat. Ku sentuh tingkap kaca itu. Sejuk.

Oh, asyiknya.

Lalu ku letakkan buku. Ku bongkar diri dari selimut. Ku ke pintu. Lupakan payung atau baju hujan. Ku terus ke laman.

Ku melangkah, bawa diri dalam hujan yang membasah. Kilat memancar macam spotlight. Petir berdentum macam muzik latar.

Ku mandi hujan.

Dan hujan terus turun dengan lebat.

Oh, romantiknya.

Pertanyaan serius dari mama


"Lem, mama nak tanya betul-betul ni," kata mama ku waktu ku mengacau inti karipap dalam periuk malam itu. Ku dapat rasakan situasi akan jadi serus dan awkward tak lama lagi. I could sense it. Selalunya macam itulah, bila ku dengan mama.

Saat tu ku sudah boleh agak...

"Lem dah ada girlfriend ke belum?"

Betul kan telahan ku. Tapi aku senyap aja.

"Dah ada ke belum?"

Aku senyap juga. Sah-sah nanti mama ingat ku ni tak lurus. Tapi ku terpaksa senyap, tak jawab. Inti karipap ku terus kacau dengan senduk.

"Kalau belum, nak mama carikan?" tanya mama.

Aku masih senyap. Fokus ku pada inti karipap yang sedang mengewap dalam periuk.

"Ada akak tu, dia ada calon. Cikgu kat Kuantan," kata mama lagi.

"Tak payah lah," jawab ku, begitu saja.

"Dah ada calon sendiri ke? Cantik? Ada agama? Cukup syarat?" Tiga soalan sekali mama tanya.

Ku tak jawab satu pun. Tak terkeluar satu patah kata pun untuk membalas tanya mama tadi. Aku terus senyap. Inti karipap panas ku biar atas dapur. Ku buka langkah ke ruang tamu, mahu tonton Discovery Channel.

Ku tunggu mama goreng karipap.

Mama tak tanya apa-apa lagi.

Dan ku terus senyap.

Belum Ku Temu

Just so you know, teman ku di UK - Lutfi Amri of the I'm Yours (Malay version)'s fame dah menerbitkan e-novel beliau sendiri. Judulnya 'Belum Ku Temu'.

Anda boleh baca e-novel tersebut di sini.

WAH! Beliau coba menggugat market ku! huahuahua

Tak apa. Ku anggap sebagai persaingan sihat. Untuk menggalakkan ku menulis dengan lebih kerap dan berkala. InsyaALLAH.

Kepada Am, this means war!!! huahuahua

P.S: sila lah menikmati juga videoclip khas beliau yang ku rasa menjadi inspirasi penulisan beliau, di bawah.

Dislikes these...


waiting
panas terik
kesalahan ejaan
ulangan soalan yang sama
makanan yang dah sejuk
orang kencing bersepah
orang berak tak flush
belacan
budu
cencalok
pakai tali leher
mesyuarat
peluh
luka
migraine
gadis yang merokok
tapak kasut
honking
politics
stupid subtitles
tanda baca yang salah
being late
being too early
feeling stupid
dropping things and having to pick them up again
having nothing to do
not being able to sleep
longkang
makanan yang sudah habis
tahi lalat
tempat sempit
tempat tinggi
kesilapan teknikal
diperhatikan semasa membuat kerja
diperhatikan semasa tidak membuat kerja
lapar
tak ada kredit
tak cukup duit
pakai kemeja
pakai spender... opps!
dikatakan tak best
tulis surat rasmi
tak dapat mandi
hingus
being asked about directions on the phone
waiting for someone yang sesat

HUAHUAHUA

Ai loikeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


- writing
- reading
- singing
- acting
- menari dengan malu-malu
- pink
- white
- heavy rain, with thunder
- fries!
- hot food
- sponge cake
- shoes!
- belt!
- new clothes!
- red
- coco chanel
- cats!
- mandi lama-lama
- biskut rocky!
- archaeology
- bahasa
- aiskrim vanilla
- maps
- victorian era
- jazz
- kacau gadis
- practise autograph
- lana lang
- money!
- black
- stainless steel rings
- moulin rouge!
- makan banyak-banyak
- music
- love!
- karipap!
- cerita hantu
- fashion
- murtabak mini yang tiga segi tu
- 19!
- t-shirt design pelik
- lisa surihani
- vanilla coke
- L
- teddy bear
- adam levine
- stars
- nasi putih panas-panas
- malam
- zapin
- movies
- boxer
- tepi laut
- tidur
- hot coffee
- iced milo
- mashed-up songs
- wigs
- books
- karaoke!
- queen's english
- telur goreng
- tingkap besar
- donut!
- penguin
- HUAHUAHUA
- gossips
- 7
- piano

- and oh, panda

Lalu

Kau kata, tak ada perkataan dapat menggambarkan
betapa kau cinta ku

lalu, 'I love you' itu apa maksudnya?

Kau kata, kau sanggup seberang tujuh lautan
ke hujung dunia

lalu, kau tinggalkan ku sendiri?

Kau kata, kau cinta ku selagi hidup
sampai mati

lalu, bagaimana kan kita bersama?

lalu, selepas itu ku juga akan mati

Terima Kasih



Kalau ku tersenyum pagi ini
Pasti mereka akan bertanya,
"Kau dilamun cinta?"
Ku akan senyum sahaja
Terima kasih
Terima kasih kerna menerima kasih ku
Dan ku akan terus tersenyum.

Mari Menulis Novel Cinta

[Entri ini adalah kontra kepada Lutfi Amri's Mari Membuang Masa]



Prolog

Mula-mula duduk depan komputer.

Bab 1

Fikirkan tajuk novel anda. Kalau boleh jangan babitkan perkataan cinta, sayang, rindu, hati, asmara, kasih dan sebagainya.

Contoh yang ku gunakan: CUTE!

Bab 2

Wujudkan nama watak-watak utama anda - seorang lelaki dan seorang perempuan. Nama-nama itu hendaklah mudah disebut, memorable dan bermakna. Nama itu sendiri akan menjadi kekuatan watak anda. Nama itu sendiri akan menjadi cerita kepada cerita anda.

Amat penting juga ntuk memastikan bahawa kedua-dua watak ini adalah lelaki DAN perempuan, bukan lelaki DENGAN lelaki atau perempuan SAMA perempuan. Jika tidak, penceritaan anda akan jadi songsang pada skala bumi diterbalikkan 180 darjah.

Contoh: Lelaki - Zakhir, nama panggilan; Jack. Perempuan - Julia, nama panggilan; Yaya.

Ciptakan perwatakan watak-watak anda. Contoh:

Zakhir/Jack - 25 tahun, tak kacak tapi cute, kerja di kedai jual bunga/bridal, rambut pacak-pacak, suka makan nasi lemak tanpa sambal.

Julia/Yaya - 25 tahun, tak cantik tapi comel, jurulatih taekwando, rambut panjang-nak-mampos, suka makan cupcake pink.

Bab 3

Fikirkan jalan cerita secara kasar. Contoh:

- Jack selamatkan Yaya dari diganggu dato' gatal.
- Yaya selamatkan Jack dari dibuli mat rempit.
- Jack dan Yaya saling membenci, tak tahu lah sebab apa - will figure this out later.
- Jack nak belajar taekwando, kena buli dengan Yaya.
- Adik Yaya nak kahwin guna khidmat bridal Jack, Jack buli Yaya balik.
- Seorang gadis minat Jack.
- Yaya jeles.
- Ex Yaya nak baik-baik semula.
- Jack jeles.
- Yaya selamatkan Jack dari disabotaj dato' gatal.
- Jack selamatkan Yaya dari diculik mat rempit.
- Jack dan Yaya jatuh cinta pulak....

Bab 4

Mula tulis. Pasang angan-angan tentang rupa cover novel anda.

Bab 5

Tulis. Rangkakan blurp yang catchy. Contoh:

Jack VS. Yaya. Nasi lemak VS. cupcake. Seni susun bunga VS. Seni lipat orang. Cute VS. comel. Cinta VS. benci. Apakah?

Bab 6

Tulis lagi. Siapkan sinopsis yang enigmatik. Give out everything but reveal nothing. (Or should it be the other way around?)

Contoh: Er, sila fikir sendiri sebagai latihan.

Bab 7

Tulis sampai lebam. Boleh lah mula berangan fasal royalti.

Bab 8

Tulis 'and they live happily ever after. The End.' Sila berlatih ntuk sesi autograf/bertemu peminat-yang-sudi di pesta buku akan datang.

Bab 9

Peram. Paling sekejap pun dalam sebulan. Sambil itu, sila banyakkan membaca. Baca lah apa-apa pun - novel cinta orang lain, books on the craft of writing, on editing, majalah, etc. Boleh juga menonton filem atau drama atau pementasan. Kaedah ini dapat membantu anda ntuk melihat hasil penulisan anda (yang sedang diperam) dalam perspektif yang lebih kreatif dan kritis.

Juga paling penting, to take your mind off the work for a little while. Relax! Anda sudah hampir menyiapkan sebuah novel cinta.

Relax. Boleh?

Bab 10

Review hasil peraman anda. Edit. Re-write. Paling kurang, gunakan tempoh satu bulan untuk kerja-kerja edit dan re-writing.

Bab 11

Peram lagi, minimum sebulan. Baca buku banyak-banyak lagi.

Bab 12


Edit. Re-write. Sampai lebam. Sampai boleh tulis 'The End' balik.

Epilog


Jangan ingat kerja anda sudah siap. Hantar manuskrip kepada editor ntuk proses cantas dan/atau penambahbaikan. Bersedialah ntuk menerima kritikan/komen/pandangan ntuk memastikan manuskrip anda mencapai kualiti terbaik.

Think positive. Be positive. Work smart. Write (or re-write) hard.

SIAP!!!

Re-submit to editor. Tunggu novel anda diterbitkan. Teruskan latihan ntuk sesi autograf.

Sudah boleh fikir novel cinta yang baharu.

Setelah novel cinta anda diterbitkan, sila google 'tajuk novel cinta + nama pena anda' ntuk maklumbalas selanjutnya. Anda boleh juga update Facebook dan tunggu Friend Request dari gadis-gadis... ooppss!

Huahuahua

Terima kasih.

Single & Tak Berkucing




Sesuatu.
Something.
Yang tercari-cari.
Somewhere.
Untuk seseorang.
Someone.
Yang tertentu.
Somehow.

L


Ini lanjutan daripada post status ku di Facebook:

Semalam, waktu ku beli burger-daging-cheese-tamau-sayur, ada sa-orang gadis bertanya kepada teman sembangnya (budak laki-laki tak sebaya); 'Mengapa lelaki suka permainkan perasaan perempuan?' Budak laki-laki belum baligh itu dengan selambanya jawab; 'Sebab perempuan ramai sangat kat dunia ni.'

Boleh?

Ku tak mau mengulas jawapan budak itu. Terpulang kepada beliau yang menjawab. Kalau nak tanya dengan lanjut, cari lah beliau.

Kerna, dalam hati ku jawab; 'Kalau tak (lelaki mainkan perasaan perempuan), tak ada lah novel cinta.'

Boleh?

Kemudian pada status itu, ada yang bertanya; 'how about perempuan mainkan perasaan lelaki?'

Bagaimana?

Jarang ada novel cinta Melayu yang ditulis daripada perspektif laki-laki yang dipermainkan perempuan, kan? Atau memang tiada satu pun? Lalu ku dicabar ntuk menulis itu.

Gila!

Ku belum (harap-harap tak akan pernah) dipermain perempuan! Ku tak tahu bagaimanakah rasanya derita itu. Tak akan ku fahami juga.

Jadi ku tanya kalian di luar sana; pernahkah anda (perempuan) permainkan lelaki? Iaitu bila si laki-laki jadi LOSER. Iaitu bila perempuan tak lagi jadi LEMAH semata-mata. Boleh?

P/S: entri ini agak negatif, kan?

Sedang


WAH! Dewasa ini ku sungguh rajin ntuk update blog! huahuahua

Sebenarnya, ku sedang melatih diri ntuk mewujudkan satu rutin secara harian. Walaupun sekadar satu jam, ku rasa ku perlu biasakan diri ntuk menulis semula. Jadual kerja rasmi ku pun sudah berubah. Bukan lagi pakai syif seperti sebelumnya. Kini ku masuk kerja jam 8 pagi dan pulang jam 5 petang. Keluar rumah seawal 6.45 pagi dan kembali selewat 7 petang. Lima hari seminggu. Jadi sekarang ku hanya ada waktu malam hingga jam12 ntuk menulis. Kecuali ntuk hari-hari minggu di mana ku boleh menulis seharian jika tidak keluar bersosial.

Jadi, ku menulislah!

Rutin ini sebagai prekursor ntuk penulisan ku yang sedang terbengkalai. Yang selalu terjadi kepada ku ialah, apabila ku sudah lama tak menulis, ku akan ambil masa lebih lama ntuk kembali menulis lagi. But once I started, it will be hard for me to stop. A word can be transformed to a dialogue to a conversation to a drama to a chapter to a full-length novel. A commitment.

Ku akan jadi tak tenang kalau tak menulis. Ku sanggup skip sesi futsal/karaoke/late-night-supper/bowling/shopping etc just so I could work on the next chapter. And in between I would either write, re-write or read.

Dan sekarang juga, ku sedang berusaha ntuk menyambung kerja-kerja bertangguh (bukan TERtangguh sebab memang ku sengaja tangguh!) akibat penyakit writer's block ku.

Langkah pertama - cari sebab ntuk menulis. For the time being, ntuk mengisi masa sebelum ku ditugaskan secara rasmi di bawah bahagian kerja ku yang sebetulnya.

Langkah kedua - menulis. Kini ku menulis di blog.

Langkah ketiga - menulis. Er, boleh tak ku betul-betul menulis selepas study ntuk ujian berkomputer LDL ku nanti? (Ya, ku sedang ikut kelas memandu.)

Dan sebenarnya ku sekadar mahu memberitahu yang ku sedang belajar memandu.

huahuahua

Tulis & tulis semula


No thinking - that comes later. You must write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is... to write, not to think!

(Finding Forrester, 2000)

Ku ambil quote di atas dari status Facebook teman-musuh ku, Green Peace. Ku setuju dengan kenyataan tersebut. Kalau nak tulis, tulis. Panduan yang sangat straight-to-the-point! Yes. That's whot I should do. Just write. From my heart. Worry about the plausibility of the storyline/narcissistic characters/cheesy dialogues/skeletal descriptions/happy ending, later.

Just write, write, write and write.

Finish the story first.

Peram.

Then, RE-write.

Only then you do the thinking.

And I always believe that novels are not written. They are RE-written.

Think about whether Chapter 15 should be Chapter 1. Or whether Character B should be meshed up with Character Z. Or should he say 'I think I love you' instead of 'I love you, most ardently'. Or to describe that 'big, gray elephant' as just 'an elephant'. Or to have all my characters living happily ever after.

Think. Do re-write. Think. Revise. Do re-write. Think. Re-write. Re-write. Re-write.

Sampai lebam.

The truth is, L.U.V.E had undergone a major re-write before I even dared to call it a novel. The same goes to 1 4 3. Both of them had been bludgeoned to near-death. Well, parts of them. Here and there. I'm not such a bad writer, am I?

When re-writing, you just have to be cruel to yourself. Editors are crueler. So you better buck up. Be ruthless. Re-organizezeze messy storyline. Kill off purposeless characters. Cut short lagging dialogues. Torn down bulky descriptions.

Do whotever that is necessary.

This is how I do it. I am a writer. No. Re-writer.

And ALHAMDULILLAH, in the end I am a published author. Er, re-writer.

Of penguins


Penguins are social creatures. Pingu Toha ialah gejala sosial.

There are at least 18 different species of penguins. Pingu Toha is the only unknown species.... Dia ialah seorang penguin.

Penguins live in large colonies called rookeries. Pingu Toha lives alone in an apartment.

Penguins waddle when they walk. Pingu Toha uses public transportations (for the time being).

Penguins communicate with each other through body language. Pingu Toha communicates through phone calls, SMSes, e-mails & Facebook's status. He doesn't twit.

Penguins spend most of their lives in water. Pingu Toha spends his in fictions.

Most penguins can swim about 15 miles per hour. Pingu Toha tak pandai berenang.

Penguins leap out of water while swimming. Pingu Toha masuk air dan tak keluar-keluar sudahnya.

Penguins can hold their breath for about 20 minutes under water. Pingu Toha memang tak akan bernafas dah dalam air.

Penguins can walk faster than humans. Pingu Toha talks faster than humans.

Baby penguins have soft feathers known as down. Pingu Toha belum kahwin.

Writer's block


I really hate to admit this. I am against writing something so demotivating. But I can't deny it anymore. I'm having another bout of writer's block! Seriously, even if I forced myself to write, I could not do it or would not do it. Like this entry. I have been planning to update my blog for quite sometime. I logged on, opened up a new post, fingers on the keypad and ended up staring blankly at the screen. It's just not happening!

Suddenly I came to a realisation that - I CAN'T WRITE!

I have 3-4-8 story ideas in mind. But I just cannot commit myself to any of them! Kiki No.5. Ada & Evan, Saga Ophir. Amar. Hero Hikayat. 365 1/4. Advencer Seorang Beruang. Gadis Klasik. Bukan Hero. Bukan Nama Sebenar. And a few others. It's not that I don't have the time. Or space. Or purpose.

I just don't have the will. And the inspiration. And the thrill.

I JUST CAN'T WRITE!

Maybe not yet.

I've lost my muse. And I CAN'T WRITE!

The last time this happened, it took me almost one year to recover. That was after L.U.V.E. I couldn't really write anything proper after my first book. Poetry? Too mushy. Blog updates? Too technical. Another book? I can't place a word.

Sepertinya, waktu ku tulis akhiran L.U.V.E. itu, L juga turut ternoktah di situ. Seolah-olah ku tulis L.U.V.E sehabis nyawa seorang L. Untuk L.U.V.E., L lah muse ku. Sebab L, ku menulis L.U.V.E. Dan selepas itu L hilang. Tak kunjung kembali lagi.

I just can't write anymore.

But of course, the were other circumstances which hindered me from continuing with the second book. I was promoted and transferred. I had to move to a new place.

I was alone. Without L. Without a muse. And I was scared to write again.

And then came N.

She was in a relationship with someone. Then she's not. Then she's back with him again. Then she's not. She's on. Then he's off. Again and again and again.

But I think I was in love with her, secretly but openly. Macamane tuh?

She became my muse for 1 4 3.

But she left for UK before I finished my second book. I never told her my feelings for her. It didn't matter. Just the thought of loving her was enough to sustain my fantasy - in this context, creativity, bukan mimpi basah occay! It kept me going through hours of late night writing and countless days of re-writing.

On her last day, I only said, "Thank you for letting me be your friend."

And after that, I managed to finish 1 4 3.

It has been two months now and I haven't done any serious writing as yet.

I had quit my previous job. Got myself another job, which by the way, was unexpected. Luckily I didn't have to move.

But I just couldn't really write.

Again, I have lost my muse.

Maksudnya, ku harus jatuh cinta lagi?

Siapakah?

huahuahua