In response to Lutfi Amri's Cerpen Realiti.
Pagi ini gelap. Mendung berarak sarat dengan hujan yang entah bila akan turun. Beberapa kali ku mengerling ke jam di tangan. Perjalanan tren 2 koc ke Dang Wangi itu masih berbaki enam stesen. Ku berdiri saja, di sisi pintu pertama sebelah kanan. Senang untuk keluar nanti. Bosan. Tak pula ku bawa buku untuk dibaca seperti selalunya. Otak ku juga masih dalam mod 'standby'. Lalu, ku pandang ke luar. Ya, pagi ini akan hujan juga. Begitu kata ku, sendiri.
This is when I started my ramblings in English.
I thought about the chapter I was writing last night. I'm not so sure on how to actually finish it. I began to wonder, whether I will be able to finish the book with such a pace. I foreseen so many changes to the storyline. I have even changed some of the principle characters; their names, backgrounds, relationships.
I have even changed my writing style.
And then, I thought about another story I wrote earlier... just the first two chapters, back in April. It's a story about a teddy bear. I already have the cover in mind. I'm planning to write the story in 30 chapters, each with 4-5 pages. I am going to write it, get it done within two weeks in view of getting it published for the next international children's book fair.
I will start on it, soon.
At times like this, I just feel like singing and dancing. Just let my vocal out. Just dance. Just do a musical. Then I remembered that I'm in a train full of people. But I will be singing and dancing all to myself. All by myself.
Que: Bridget Jones's Diary theme - All By Myself.
Ku kembali ke Malaysia.
Ku lihat ke langit sana. Kelihatan seolah-olah awan-awan gelap itu tak mahu pergi dari pagi itu. Ia berpaut pada puncak Menara KL. Ia membalut seluruh Menara Berkembar. Pagi itu memang suram. Suram yang sayu.
Sekali lagi, ku memikirkan tentang cerita yang sedang ku tulis. Rasanya, ku perlu minta tolong Anisa ntuk membuat ilustrasi dalam Saga Ophir. Ku ingin minta beliau lukiskan peta Agia.
Oh, maybe I should do some illustrations on the animals, plants and architectures of Agia, Ophir and Orkala. And the clothings. And the weapons! Oh!
Tiba-tiba, ku menyedari seolah-olah ku seorang geek. An awfully shy and socially awkward geek, that is. Well, I was wearing my favourite pink shirt, a nice pair of pants from Padini, with unpolished shoes, geeky hairstyle and geeky pair of glasses. And also a faux leather sling bag.
And I am a writer!
Gosh, why do I have to be so geeky? Why do I have to be the geeky writer?
I don't write geeky stuff. I wrote love poems and romance, though I'm not really romantic. Heck, I can't even write them properly. Heck, I can't do anything properly!
So, whot am I, really? I found myself asking that same question, over and over again.
This is when I relapsed into the 'di satu sudut sepi' mode. I shouldn't let myself be alone like this. It'll ruin me. Things shouldn't be like this. But...
Okay, dah sampai Dang Wangi. I need to put a smile on my face. I need to look like Halim. This is going to be a very long day.
Okay. :) HUAHUAHUA