Let's just face it. It's been almost two weeks now. I just can't pull myself back together anymore. I'm at a low point of my life right now. Seriously. I'm down. I'm miserable. I'm terrible with people. I'm scared. I'm unmotivated. I feel unloved. I feel like running away. I feel hollowed. I feel like crying. I'm useless. I feel that if I die, it wouldn't make difference to anyone at all. I wake up and try to put a smile on my face. I just can't! I try to laugh at people's jokes but I ended up laughing at myself for trying too hard. I know I'm not perfect. I'm not handsome enough. I'm not tall enough. I'm not intelligent enough. I'm not competent enough. I'm not brave enough. I'm not funny enough. I'm not stylish enough. I'm not popular enough. I'm not loving enough. I'm not successful enough. I'm not good enough. I'm just out of place. I don't belong. I try to live with that fact. I know I'm here to do something, that I'm able to do something but I just can't see the way. It seems that I'm not contributing anything at all. And the world will be a better place without me. I do not wish to die. I just want to be away, to a place where I can just be miserable on my own and not ruining other peoples' lives. I'm sick. I know that. I just can't hide it anymore. I want others to know but I also wish that they'll let me be. I want to love but I can't. I've prayed for strength. God's willing, I am strong. But right now, I'm just too tired.

I want to write myself a happy ending.

No. Let them have it. Let them live happily ever after.


.amena. said...

i want to write myself a happy ending TOO

Piah Becok said...

just be yourself la bro.. but yeah, sometimes you do need to runaway to clear your mind and soul. go to timbuktu then?? bout happy ending, that's why people read/watch movie and drama. they want the happy ending to be in their life too. mabruk life forever to you and everyone, insyaAllah

dylla said...

heyy, kuat tahu? :D

Nadewas said...

i love you Halim Pingu Toha! Kuatkan semangat!

atika basri said...

hey, just want to say, i know how you're feeling. there were times when i felt the same too. the words you used to describe your feeling were very much the same to the ones that i wrote down in my notebook when i felt down. thing is, we have to be strong ey? life is hard, that's for sure. kita kena kuat, n kita kena move on kan? there are a lot of people around us who really care about us. kita kena bangun, for them. you can do it! :)

Nurul Afifah Addnan said...

sometimes i do feel da same..miserable.!

hiKaRU said...

Hidup ni tak selalu indah. Sekejap di atas, sekejap di bawah. Kadang-kadang kita berjalan dengan megah dan tak kurang juga terkadang tersandung sehingga jatuh menggelusur. Tapi inilah yang menarik tentang hidup kita. Tidak statik. Penuh dengan warna-warni. Kadang bersinar terang umpama sinar sang bulan. Dan kadang gelap umpama langit malam tanpa hiasan bintang maupun bulan.

Laluilah ia dengan keyakinan.

Kuat la bro.
Remember that Allah knows..

Fira Al said...

huhu..1st time komen kat sini.
igt nak belek novel, skali terbaca entri ni.
aku yg baca ni pun dah rasa serabut gle rupanya kepala kau nih!
cool la beb... chillex! :D