Friday, 25 March 2011

Untitled 3

I have been in three serious (siyes1, 2, 3) relationships before. And I have to admit that I screwed them all up. I'm a failure in relationships. I'm a bad boyfriend. And how the heck did I manage to write romance (three novels so far and more in progress) I just don't know. I don't even understand whot love is! Anyways, I've came down with this entry as an evaluation on my past relationships. Mind you, my love stories lack drama.

EX1 - you'll get a gist of the story in Tinta
Can't really remember how it happened but she and I were very close back then. I remember holding her hands whenever we walked back home after class. Was it love? Entah. But I got jealous over her with some guy. Can't really remember whot happened after that. But now I heard she's all grown up. Well. I'm already 27. She's a few years younger kot. She is with someone else. Already engaged kot.

EX2 - sekolah menengah

I wasn't aware that we were in some sort of a relationship until one day she cut a picture of us into two! She was pissed off because of some things that I wasn't aware of. And I was like, "Whot? I was her boyfriend? Since when?"

EX3 - siyes1
We started off as chat friends. I helped her with her preparations for PMR. Not that I'm a big help anyways. She's already so intelligent. She went to a faraway school. Heard that this one guy liked her. Somehow I can sense the spark. I called it off. She moved on with the guy. Their relationship lasted until 2 years back kot. Anyways, longer than when I was with her.

EX4 - siyes2
I knew her from a friend. She was my best girlfriend. We are still best friends. She's always there for me. Though I do not dare to kacau her life anymore. I mean she doesn't deserve someone like me.

EX5 - somewhere in KL
She's my buddy. But obviously she thought that I was more than just her buddy. I like her. But it couldn't be more than that.

EX6 - somewhere in KL jugak (siyes3)

This one was all my fault. I rushed. I broke her heart.

EX7 - onoffonoffonoff

I broke her heart. She broke mine. And we were not in a relationship pun!


In conclusion, yes, I suck in love.

Monday, 7 March 2011


Mama pesan; jangan jadi budak2 lagi. Itu lah bekal kekuatan ku ntuk menghadapi hari lahir ku yang ke-27, hari ini.

Alhamdulillah. Hidup ku sudah mencecah ke tahun yang ke-27. Setelah beberapa lama ku maintain di angka 19, akhirnya ku berjaya meyakinkan diri ntuk melonjak ke umor ku yang relatif kepada tahun semasa. Tahun ini tahun ntuk ku matang. Gadis2 di luar sana sedang menanti ku menyerlahkan kejantanan ku. Saya yang menurut perintah!

Tapi sabar, ku perlu masa ntuk menyesuaikan diri dengan peredaran tumbesar fizikal, minda dan emosi yang terbantut sejak ku berumor 19 tahun. Kalau dulu ku cute, sekarang ku musti jadi kacak. Kalau dulu ku kebudak2an, sekarang ku musti kejantan2an. Kalau dulu ke menjalani kehidupan secara manja2, kini ku musti LIVE, LIFE, LOVE!

Pokoknya, ku harus berusaha ntuk jadi lebih matang.

Dan perkara pertama yang harus ku lakukan ialah dengan mengakui bahwa pada tanggal 7 Mac 2011 ini, ku sudah pun berumor 27 tahun. SEKARANG!

Saturday, 5 March 2011

How To Celebrate Your Own Birthday

I almost always forgot my own birthday. Well I don't really celebrate, anyways... most probably because on the date, I am always too busy thinking about other stuff instead of 'oh, God, I'm like, a year older, like, let's celebrate!' or 'I wonder who will wish me first?'. It's always my mama and my lil' sis who wish me first. I do get a lot of birthday wishes and it's the thought that counts. Like I said, I don't celebrate my birthday... at least, not in the usual celebratory manner. I don't do party and I can't expect others to give me presents.

But when I do remember my birthday, I do celebrate it, usually on my own, because I will only get the chance after quite some time... when I do have the time and money to do so.

Anyways, here are the tips to celebrate your own birthday, just in case;

1. Get born first and live for (or survive) another year.
2. Smile when you wake up in the morning.
3. Give thanks to God for one more day of living and life.
4. If you purposely take leave on your birthday, sambung tidur balik. Kalau kena kerja, bersiap. SEKARANG!
5. Check your handphone for birthday wishes. You'll probably get them since 12 o'clock last night.
6. Check your Facebook. Tunggu sehingga malam nanti untuk ucap terima kasih to the Wall-wishers secara lump-sum.
7. Delete all the Facebook notifications from your e-mail inbox.
8. Expect others to wish you on the go, if they remember.
9. Do not tell them your real age. Always use the number 19.
10. Do not expect any form of gifts.
11. WORK.
12. Do not expect for a surprise party.
13. Think about WORK.
14. Browse Facebook for other people's birthday party album.
15. Merenung ke horizon sambil memikirkan masa depan yang kesunyian.
16. Buy yourself a cute cupcake. Or two. Or berapa2 yang larat dimakan anda sa-orang. Don't forget the candles.
17. If you have the money, buy yourself a present, get it wrapped nicely dengan birthday card, ribbons bagai. Or beli secara biasa. Save your money on the wrapping and card and ribbons.
18. Treat yourself a fancy dinner. Or a movie. Or a haircut. Or whotever la!
19. Balik, gosok gigi, cuci muka dan menangis lah sa-orang diri sampai tertidur.

*terus berlari ke satu sudut yang sepi*